The Fall Of Kingdom Jonathania And The End Of King Jango, By Usama Dandare
Once upon a time there was a kingdom, a naturally wealthy land which is one-third larger than Texas and the most populous black empire in the world. Situated on the Gulf of Guinea in the Western region of Africa and one among the world’s richest nation. The kingdom came into being on October 1, 1960, having gained independence from the English colonial masters and became a member of the Commonwealth of Nations. Welcome to the Kingdom of AIREGIN.
Since independence, Airegin has experienced omnifarious forms of leadership until May 29, 2007 when a wise leader, King Ramu, who intends to move the kingdom in the right direction was sworn in, his lifetime was threatened by illness and a pretty queen who was his wife, ruled the land instead of him for more than two years of his reign. To the detriment of the masses, king Ramu died on May 5, 2010 after years of battling with his health. Shortly after his demise, his deputy, Emperor Jango was sworn in as the new king.
Jango was a gentleman right from his days as a deputy premier, to his premiership days and upto the time he became the deputy to the late king Ramu, throughout these times, he was known to be loyal and very obedient to his superiors. He was brought up in an entirely different setup with his predecessors, he was born into a family of a canoe-maker and his parents were extremely poor and while as a kid; he had no shoes, no school bag and carried his books in his hands to school. His poor parental background gave the masses higher expectations of a better life thinking a regime led by a poor son will have more care and sympathy to other poor citizens. All he came into power with was an old masculine-voice woman he called his wife, his partially blind mum, his pretty little daughter and a boy who looked like him, and some few servants willing to do whatever he wanted. He took his late boss’s place and reigned the kingdom.
However, his regime was nothing to write home about and his dominion was far from good, he imposed heavy fuel prices on the kingdom despite being among the top exporters of crude. His regime was characterized by corruption, impunity, indiscipline, bloodshed, rascalities, irresponsibility, fiascos, immorality and he purged everyone who attempts to blow the whistle.
Gradually, people renamed the land “kingdom Jonathania” having turned the kingdom’s wealth into his personal belongings and that of his family, they pushed both hands into the taxpayers account at will and pullout whatever amount they so wished as if the kingdom’s wealth belongs to their family businesses and nobody has the right to say a word.
Things began moving from bad to worst, everyone lost serenity in his style of governance and the few giving him benefit of doubt were left seethed with rage, he transformed the once peaceful kingdom into a land of hatred, ethnic bigotry and religious crisis by nurturing a killer ethno-religious division. And in no-time, kingdom Jonathania became a land of the living dead. Due to Jango’s incompetence, insincerity and weak leadership, the once richest and most promising land in the late 1960s and early 1970s was devalorized to among the 20 kingdoms in the world with the widest gap between the rich and the poor, Airegin gradually began to declined in fortunes in all developmental indexes.
As one among the top 10 crude oil producers in the world, Kingdom Jonathania continued to fare very poorly in all developmental ratings and the kingdom failed in all aspect of human and social endeavour, he failed to provide the necessary services required to improve the livelihood of the citizenry. As a result of massive corruption and lawlessness under Jango’s watch, unity was scarce even among family members and wanton killing of innocent people became a daily routine as life was valueless and didn’t worth a pity.
King Jango continues to terrorize and oppress the masses with his people-unfriendly policies, he deprived the people of their right and privileges, he birthed artificial poverty in a wealthy land destined for all to be happy while allowing some few associates of his to be stealing the land dry; There was this beautiful lady he appointed to spearhead the kingdom’s crude oil business, she however used her beauty over the kingdom and went away with billions of dollars, she became powerfully rich to an extent of owning private jets and mansions overseas while the masses were living in squalor. Another beauty queen and a certificate forger was also appointed to watch over the kingdom’s air transport system, she also carted away with billions of dollars from the taxpayers hard-earned wealth.
On her part, his masculine-voice wife kept on misbehaving in public and insulting whoever she so wishes to insult, she does whatever she thought of doing without any recourse to the laws of the land. She looted the kingdom’s wealth at will and have no respect for elders nor constituted authorities, she went to an extent of assigning official portfolios to herself and operating her own independent government akin to a de facto president. In point of fact, her arduous bravura of immorality and adipose irresponsibility beget the “impression that her husband (king Jango) was not in control of his home.” (apologies to Reuben Abati)
This was how king Jango continued to reign terror on the peace loving and hospital people of Airegin by appointing corrupt and greedy people into his cabinet, they kept on looting the kingdom’s treasury and the king failed to caution or deal with anyone among them, everything about the empire was so deteriorating across all strata and he (King Jango) looked unruffled and never wanted to change. In a nutshell, kingdom Airegin or Jonathania as renamed was totally ruined by the evil king, nearly reaching a state of comatose.
As emperor Jango’s power drunkenness began getting out of hand, the masses abruptly rose in rebellion against the evil king, they were led by “an incorruptible military general” and “a well trained pastor and at same time a professor of law”. Having betrayed and failed his Godfather, the anger of king Jango’s Godfather and that of the masses covered the entire kingdom and together with the help of an “anti-manipulation device (card reader)”, the masses defeated king Jango’s troops and vanquished his satanic and malevolent regime, thus ending six years of Jango’s reign of terror and impunity on the people and land of Airegin.
Well, King Jango will go down the memory lane as one of the most incompetent and the most weakest president in the history of Airegin kingdom and his regime must be remembered as one of the most corrupt and visionless regime in the kingdom’s governmental history. In short, the level of incompetence and unprofessionalism exhibited while Jango was in power and his less care attitudes in governing Airegin was termed by several schoolers as the 8th wonder of the world. There was none like him.
This extraordinary and unfortunate antiquity of king Jango and his devilish regime provides an indispensable backdrop for the collapse of “Kingdom Jonathania” as well as “King Jango” in particular. Obviously, the rise of a new peaceful and an adorable Kingdom of Airegin is now on the verge with the advent of a talented, credible and promising government ready to be sworn-in come May 29, 2015.
Usama A. Dandare is a bona fide citizen of the kingdom of Airegin and was present throughout the era of king Jango. He writes from Sokoto.