Spirituality: The Ideal method to Marriage
Odeyemi Afis Olawale
“O’ you who believe, observing fasting (in the holy month of Ramadan) is prescribed on you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become the pious.”
The above verse quoted from the glorious book of Islam, (the Qur’an) has since time immemorial remained a unique revelation to the religion of Islam. It serves as guidance to all Muslims throughout the fasting month of Ramadan. This popular verse in the second chapter of the Qur’an has again set the bases for this year Ramadan lecture, in the Sheikh Muktar Isalekoto Islamic Foundation annual Ramadan lecture in Ilorin, Kwara State, Nigeria.
As it’s customary, the University of Ilorin was again agog with Muslims faithfull’s from all works of life who converged at the expansive auditorium of the prestigious University of Ilorin in the annual Ramadan lecture which is 7th in its series.
The lecture, as habitually convened by the Chief coordinator of the foundation and also the founder, Al-Ikmatul Al-Baligah program aired on 89.3 Unilorin FM Radio and NTA Kwara, Ustadz Lukman Muktar Isalekoto of the faculty of engineering, University of Ilorin, in his introductory speech at the occasion, expressed major concern over the prevalent dissolution of early marriage among community of the Muslim nation of present day world. The root cause of such abysmal state of affair was however a major topic of discuss in the series of topics delivered at the occasion.
Speaking on the topic of direction of Salat (Prayer by supplication), the first lecturer of the day, Imam Abdulsalam Saliu, enjoined all Muslims to take swift cognizance of their Salat, and by making sure that while observing praying, they are properly positioned in the direction of the Kibla (I.e the holy Kaabah in Macca), as this is the right direction for prayer as prescribed by Islam and the Sunnah (teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ‘Peace Be Upon Him’), which states in clear term, that all forms of worship be observed facing the direction of the Kaabah.
He said however that, in common cases where such direction cannot be readily identified, Muslims must employ the services of experts in determining the actual direction to face in observing the Salat. This he said, “is possible through the use of compass, or weather forecast as was the practice in the early period of Islam. Imam Abdulsalam, emphasized that, “Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), clearly stated that the direction of the Kiblah should be sourced in between the position the sun sets and rises.”
In the second lecture delivered by Chief Imam, Asbunallahu central Mosque Kwara, Sheikh Abdulrafiu Abdulkareem Oloduowo, traced the root cause and absence of marital bliss among young Muslims couples to lack of spirituality and the absence of proper incentives before marriage is established. He stated that, spirituality which originally should be the foundational point on which a good marriage is premised, but with the absence of spirituality among other factors is responsible for the gradual extinction of the ideal type of Islamic marriage as was the case during the lifetime of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).
Using the Qur’an and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him) as a reference point and solution to solving societal problems. The Sheikh noted that, marriage in Islam is an injunction established by Allah to the entirety of mankind for the purpose of legitimate worship. Thus, Allah enjoins mankind to multiply through procreation which is important to worship as established in the glorious Qur’an.
According to him, a number of other factors contributed to the collapse of marriages among community of the Muslim faithfull’s, saying; “Today, we marry for the wrong reasons, and as soon as those who are married for the wrong reasons are joined together, they soon begin to experience problems and such marriage never worked.”
“Allah has created marriage for you in other that you may achieve comfort from your spouse, in other that you may enjoy the pleasure of your spouses company, in other that you may live with pleasure and happiness and have reasons to smile.”
“And from the signs of Allah, is that He has created for you and from amongst you spouse, in other that you may achieve happiness and indeed, Allah placed in your heart love for one another, and definitely that’s a sign for those who will like to ponder.” “Those who are married under the shade of Allah, naturally they will have a feeling towards their spouse, and they will feel very protective and very possessive of their spouse and that is a natural feeling that Allah places automatically in their heart which was not their prior to the union.”
The Sheikh advised couples to be conscious of their ‘Rab (their Lord, Sustainer, Nourisher and Provider) who has created man from a single soul (Adam) and created from that soul it spouse (Eve).
Mentioning, the importance of communication in marriage, the religious Scholar observed that; “Communication is a major important factor of any marriage. Why is it so important to mention the use of the tongue at the occasion of marriage? This is because, ninety nine percent of marital problems is connected to our tongue, because ninety nine percent of marital problems is connected to the way we speak in our marriages. We need to utter on a daily bases words that will put a smile on the faces of our spouse. You have to speak up when you have to, you need to talk if you have to talk.
Spend time together and be tolerant of one another. Trust and be just, to be tender and lenient, to be calm and polite and not be hard and harsh to your spouse. You have to sacrifice you time, your resources and energy. To be thankful and greatful to one another is equally important because thankfulness is an ideal way of rekindling our marriage.”
In his conclusive remark however, Sheikh Oloduowo advised that, when choosing a spouse, the best method to employ, and the best deciding factor is the spiritual sanctity of the man or woman to be married to.
“..And when choosen your spouse, if you have based your opinion only on beauty, the beauty will go, if you have based your opinion only on wealth, the wealth will go, if you have based your opinion only on reputation, such reputation may be tarnished overnight, but if you base your opinion on spirituality, the spirituality will only increase as time passes by.” On this note, the Scholar tasked religious leaders to give proper admonition to intending couples before marriages is legalized.
Meanwhile, in the last lecture delivered by Imam Abdulwahab Ajia, who treated succinctly, the Hidaah (waiting period) of a divorced woman or a woman who has just lost her husband according to Islamic injunction, said, “Women should be allowed to murn their husband for a period of time as prescribed by Islam. And for a woman divorced by her husband, for more than twice, must be allowed to remain in the husband house for a period of time she is observing her monthly circle (Menstrual period). But in cases where only one or two oral divorces has been made by the husband but the third one has not been issued, the husband is allowed to take back his wife if he has a change of heart. While in instances where three divorces has been issued and the couple decides to return to each other, then a fresh marriage rights has to be conducted and bridal price be paid as was the case in the first marriage before they can live once again as man and wife.
The all inclusive event featured a host of Islamic scholars as well as Muslim faithfull’s, students from various institution of higher learning, academic and non-academic staff of institutions and parents from far and near, thronged in massive crowd the University of Ilorin, the usual host and venue of the progam. The Vice-chancellor of the University, Professor Abdulganiyu Ambali (OON) was represented at the occasion by his deputy Vice-chancellor management services, Professor Yisa Fakunle, Professor Abdul Razak Ajao among others. Other guests present include, Alhaji Daudu Bala, Imam Sebutu, Dr. Onireti among other faithfull’s.
Odeyemi Afis Olawale; 300 Level History, report from the University of Ilorin, Kwara State, Nigeria.