Read and Laugh: What Jonathan Really Said In His Declaration Speech
It is no news now that I lied in 2011 when I said I will not run in 2015 if you elected me then. This was a trick, even though evil, that I used to get you to vote for me. I promised only one term just as a fraud. It worked then and this time I will use other lies and tricks and the cash I have gathered through Diezani my partner in crime to win again. The end they say justifies the means.
I will not be the first presidential liar in office nor the last.
It is well known that I do not regard corruption as stealing or a crime. Ordinary stealing? *hiss. Nations billions are there to be looted. For 16 years PDP has looted the nation, why should I be the one to stop it? For most of 50 years all types of soldiers especially have used their guns to loot the nation, I am able to use democracy to loot the nation silly; why should the looting stop now? As the leaders, Babangida and co from the Middle belt looted by the gun, so shall I loot by democracy.
If looting will stop and Nigeria will progress with free and fair opportunity for the 100 million poor who live and die under one dollar a day, let that start in 2019; not now.
You all know that today Bayelsa has the highest level of oil pollution in the world and people are dying there in misery. You also know that most of our petrol bought in Bayelsa is refined from illegal refineries and sold at illegal petrol stations. You also know that Bayelsa is now the world capital for high sea piracy. We are also the world kidnapping epicenter. Do not say I am unfair, it is in my state as it is in the nation. I loot and destroy without discrimination.
I bet you also know that I am funding pastors to preach hate against non Christians across Nigeria to cultivate religious intolerance towards getting me a victory by dividing the nation along religious lines. You all recognized the various plots me and my men, Reuben Abati, Okupe, Metuh and co spun against the image of Buhari. Even though we apologized to Buhari and retracted the web of lies we concocted, you recognize we did this to win. We allowed Boko Haram destroy Nigeria to cobalize our opponents since the Abuja bombing that we had done and we refused the confession of MEND for, we recognized this as a great method of victory with your foolish minds ripe for hate. Divide and rule, we learned well.
You see there will be no vote in #Bokoistan, we will ensure that no one votes in Adamawa, Yobe and Borno, how can we lose with that? Will Shekau collect the millions of people’s votes in his territory we have given him for the polls of 2015? of course not. They say I am clueless but you all see that I am a genius like never before. To win is the most important need of man and I will win. Victory is mine. Minimah and Badeh will continue to cease fire till that your entire north where that Gowoza sef is will all perish. Death to you all, succkers!
Where is your $20 billion? Please can you not see how I dealt with Sanusi? And how I control the SSS? They seized his passport and only released it this week not after due process or investigation but when I dictated after he came to bow to me. Keep looking for your missing $100 billion. You will see it flying around towards February of next year in stomach infrastructure. Victory Acerta!
The kerosene subsidy robbery by Diezani? Her jets scandals? OduahGate? Abba Moro’s immigration murder? Boko Haram genocide? Me romancing Boko Haram sponsors Modu Sheriff, Chad president and Ihejirika? South Africa cash for arms illegal smuggling? Malabu? Please, Nigerians are dummies, they do not care, na where bele face.
Celebrate Jonathan, president for life. Pastor Ayo, deliver the prayers. Who no like, go hug transformer. FFK, tell them.
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