Dear Juliet, I Am Sorry I Can’t Do This Anymore, By First Baba Isa
I have pretended for so long that I am happy with what we have, what we share. I put up beautiful pictures of you, of us, online and people shower us with praises; some want what we have but what they don’t know, what you might not know is that all these years with you, I have been unsatisfied… my heart has always yearn for more, for something bigger, for something better.
I have buried my head in that pretense for long, wishing that someone will hand me the happiness, the fulfilment and the “more” that I need. Somewhere in the quite crevices of my mind I have always thought I deserve this “more” but the courage and resources to reach out for it has always eluded me… until I met Jiyoung Sok on the plane on my way from Hong Kong to South Korea recently.
It was love at first sight. She is beautiful in a way that defies elocution. Born of an Ethiopian mother and Korean father, she has a white skin that is embellished with voracious melanin. She looks like a resurrection of Cleopatra. Our eyes locked. I was petrified. She waved me a smile and like a robot, I reached out for her… Jiyoung flew into my arms and stayed there for a mighty long time.
Somewhere in the eternity of that hug, she pulled back and brushed her lips on my cheek. I melted into a solid awakening. That was my moment of epiphany. That was the moment I realized, dear Juliet that I don’t want what we share anymore. That is the moment I got the courage to reach out for the more I have always wanted. Jiyoung Sok’s hug has set me free.
I know you must have sensed that I wanted more, I must have hinted it somewhere in our discussions, and you must have sensed I am tired. Well, if you ever did, you are right… Juliet I am tired. I’m tired of the long calls. I’m tired of the Facebook romance. I’m tired of the smiles and goodnights. I love all of these but I want something more. Please let’s break this… let’s go for “more”… you deserve more too. Don’t you think?
Let’s break this and build from the fine blocks. Some of our friends and relatives might be disappointed, but hey dear Juliet, it’s our happiness we are talking about here. Let’s stop this please. Let’s go to that dark murky future and search for that more. I am not afraid anymore. No matter who I hurt, I want to do this. I deserve this. You deserve this too. Or don’t you?
And I want to do this once and for all. I don’t want to be going back and forth. No. I want to put a final close to where and what we are and have. I don’t want today to interfere with the tomorrow I’m reaching out for. Please don’t blame the Korean beauty, it’s not her fault, this is what I have always yearned for.
So please let’s do this properly once and for all. I will be back to Nigeria soon; so please can I come with my friends and family members to pay your bride price on the 15th of December, 2016? On that same day we will ask your father to bless us and usher us into that “more” that I yearn for.
And on the 17th of December 2016, I will be waiting for you in the church… will you come with your friends and family let’s take a vow breaking what we have and build “more” from the fine blocks?
I love everything you have given me, I enjoy everything we share and have… but I want more… I want a cute little 3-year old like Jiyoung Sok, hugging me every day and brushing her lips on my cheek. I want someone I can annoy for the rest of life, who will not have another house to rush to.
I want us to belong together to the sitting room, the kitchen and the other room… Oh the other room… and we will also conquer the world and impact lives… together.
Dear Juliet, will you come?
Your Boyfriend, who is begging to be your husband,
First Baba Isa.
12:15am, Thursday, 3-November-2016,
Seoul, South Korea.