As Buhari Begins To Ejaculate… By; Abdull-Azeez Ahmed Kabir
A political virgin that he was, it took him four consecutive attempts to learn all the tricks of the Nigerian political easy-virtue before he could gain penetration despite a long standing turgid erection. But even at that, those long in the old profession saw him as not having a sustained turgidity to last that long a bout after gaining penetration.
President Muhammadu Buhari is one Nigerian politician de-flowered by the Nigerian media. In-fact, he was gang raped and repeatedly so, and was expected to die of exhaustion after draining him of blood. But despite the pain of forced thrusts, his gap toothed smile always veiled his agony and portrayed him as a willing partner in the acts; willing to venture into the den of the rampaging co-travelers again and again.
Then, to paraphrase Mahatma Ghandi the Nigerian media defiled Buhari and ignored him. They gang raped him and laughed at him. Then they fought him when he refused to bleed to death or die of exhaustion. Then he won and they all fall in love, heads over heels with him. Today he is the most sought after bride with suitors tripping over each other to court him.
The media so framed a Buhari that they succeeded in imprinting on the psych of many Nigerians and beyond, certain perception, exposure and retention of an ugly portrait of the man. He was projected as the lady of the night who had everything materially at her beck and call at home, but due to moral decadence and insatiable appetite for power, always stretched out her seductive legs on the ever lethal political streets.
But after being ignored, laughed at, fought and eventually won, Buhari has been transformed from a beautiful, voluptuous bride that many sought, to a handsome newly married groom with a pretty wife whose menu is so mouth-watering that many could not resist her cooks.
He has become a groom whose house has become a Mecca of a sort that even those who once defiled his beautiful bride, who gang-raped her, who drew blood and bayed for more even when she seemed in need of blood to survive, those who wished her dead are today veily looking for ways to atone for their sacrilegious acts and attempt warming their ways into that heart that they once struck with daggers.
“It is not by accident that I got the best of you to be the special adviser, one of the 15 aides I had to get clearance from the Senate. He is one of the best Presidents of the Guild of Editors that I can have as special adviser. I brought one of the best of you so that he can consistently defend me against you”.
If you think Buhari has forgotten what the media or a section of it did to him, how they gang-raped him and left him for dead, then the above quote during his meeting with the State House Press Corps should jolt you from your slumber. He has brought Femi Adesina to “consistently defend” him “against” the media.
“Whether my job is a difficult one or easy is up to him, but I’m here to thank you in advance for what good and ill you are going to do to me. I have to quickly come and see you and welcome you to this place. I hope what happened of recent between the former President and one of you (the withdrawal of the accreditation of the Radio Germany reporter) will not happen between me and you”.
Hmm, go through the above quotes again; in case you missed it, let this “…but I’m here to thank you in advance for what good and ill you are going to do to me…” sink in. The relationship between a rapist and his victim may become cordial, they may even fall in love and have a relationship. Even ending up in marriage. But the victim, like the man left with bones after the other had savoured the meat, would never forgot the pains of the old act and would always be very careful; expecting a mixture of pain and pleasure.
Buhari is the first President since 1999 when Nigeria returned to civil rule, to officially meet and welcome the media team attached to the Presidency in their chamber before settling down to business. “This bad management that we find ourselves in, we really need your help to protect us from people before they march on us”, he concluded. Trusting the hyena with meat you may say.
What many, especially journalists did not know before now is that behind that stern looking mien of President Buhari, is a soft, easy going, highly hilarious man who disarm anyone around him with nerve cracking jokes. He is known to throw highly funny jibes.
Take it or leave it, the media guys around the President are in for a lot of surprises; different from the old Buhari media conception.
Now Buhari has arrived, stronger, wiser with all the tricks in his kitty having been the victim of stronger antagonists in the past. Buhari is now ejaculating and his old assailants are more than willing to be the hosts and bearers of his new offspring.
Abdull-Azeez Ahmed Kabir