A Mild Touch on Last Week’s News with Abdullahi Aborode: Week 2
Welcome to this week’s edition. It has been an eventful week, a lot of the usual dramas and the action packed movie never ceases to amaze me. I have come again to give you a better dose of the ‘delicious’ meal served in Nigeria and make it more palatable.
Patience Dame Lazarus made the cut this week again! This time, our able mother has sent a warning signal to the so called ‘opposition’ parties. Those APC people don’t seem to get it, our mother is power drunk, she’s intoxicated already and they think 100 of them are enough to usurp power from us. Is it not our ‘oyel’ money? But she was right though, 100 of them is too much, just 3 dedicated parties are enough to chase us out of power. PDP!!! Lazaruses in Power!
She also said the senate should approve the N4bn First lady peace mission building, she said it will create jobs and that she won’t take it to Otueke with her when they are chased out by 2015. Our mother loves drama you know? “The occupier of the [first lady’s] position [should] enjoy benefits of the office, on retirement.” –Patience Jonathan, July 20, 2012
Unlike that Kano prince, the founder of the Yoruba jazz group (OPC) Dr Fredrick Fasehun believes we need the Federal character according to the Nigerian constitution. He laments the marginalisation of the Yoruba tribe by the government. Doctor also said we should abide with the constitution while we await the people’s constitution that should be done by a National conference. He has charged the fedora-hat-crooner in the aso rock to take the next two years he has got seriously in order to win Yoruba people’s votes come 2015. “He can still amend the situation and appease the Yoruba people and they might still sustain and maintain their support for him.” – Fasehun
That Jaga-Jaga-Ban-Lion of Lagos and that General in Kaduna really mean business to chase us out of Aso rock. Shortly after our mummy declared 100 of them senile, they proceeded to declare the merger’s commitment. They have charged their members to get a manifesto, constitution and all legal documents ready within a fortnight. I was able to gather that some PDP members are set to join the APC one’s it is registered. “Some people in the PDP have already contacted some of us that they will be willing to come and work with us.” – Ogbonnaya Onu (ANPP Chairman)
So after an illustrious nollywood career, the tall handsome Richard Mofe Damijo has found himself in a N50million fraud case in Delta state. It is alleged that he and one Ms Ajufo ‘swallowed’ the money that was allocated for an event that was supposed to take place in 2007. The money was just released May 2012 and it was alleged that RMD and his partner have chopped our money. How do we run this government by the way? How come a request made for an event in 2007 is just acknowledged 5 years later? Abi it’s Don Ibori again?
One of the few jobless Ministers in this current administration has also tried to win our mother’s heart by rubbishing the APC by saying its a liability for those who formed it. Like Oluwalazarus, he’s of the opinion that the APC is not fit enough to get rid of the PDP. “We are going to bury that so-called still born baby that has no leg, no eyes and no sense. It’s just a vegetable and therefore it is a political liability to the opposition.” – Bala Mohammed (FCT Minister)
The Tura ambassador also had something to say about the merger while denying the speculation that he was planning to decamp the PDP for another political party believed to be the APC; “How can I leave a big mansion and go to boys’ quarters? Any other party in Nigeria is a boy’s quarters” – Alao Akala
I bet if Dr Ngozi Okonjo Iweala was an artist you’ll be tired of her repeating the same bars over and over again! Her obsession with the term “child and maternal mortality” is becoming exasperating. She has been repeating this for more than 8 years now, she gave same reasons when we paid off our debts under General Obasanjo, during subsidy and now at the post-2015 development framework in Abuja last week. Abi is she an Iya Abiye? She also claims 1 billion people are still extremely poor, what have you done about this madam? “We have seen accelerating progress in reducing child and maternal mortality.” – NOI (February 2013) “This money(subsidy) is going to be put into services for maternal health and child mortality. We have one of the very bad indicators for maternal mortality in the world” – NOI (January 2012) “High fertility rates are associated with increased maternal mortality risks” – NOI (October 2012) Ok, get busy with our money ma’m or switch to the health ministry.
Hurray! Our gallant soldiers now have access to food in Mali. However there’s already a casualty, a soldier who was deployed without medical examination was repatriated, he finally died at the Armed Forces Command and Staff College medical centre in Jaji. May his soul Rest In Peace. The Director for Defense information has also denied the report that the army begged food. He said the food was given to them by the Mayor has a traditional gift. “They did not beg for food, The items were given to them (the soldiers) as gift in accordance with their (host community) tradition.” – Mohammed Yerima
The NDLEA said there’s an increase in the consumption of cocaine and heroin and Abia state. This report came few days after the governor promised to reward virgins with cars and other gifts. I will be glad if he will stretch his generous hand into saving drug addicts too, maybe grant an amnesty for them to drop cocaine for marijuana or tobacco better still. “I can say that people are leaving the trade of cannabis to that of harder drugs, and even more people are getting it too by number’’ – NDLEA official
12% of Nigerians are said to have mental illness. I believe this figure has been corrupted! Majority of our politicians and celebrities suffer from mental illness and I am sure they weren’t included in that survey. The government has succeeded in making a sane man insane, many are depressed and many have been finished by the government’s poor policies. Not only those on the streets are qualified to be called mentally ill. We have a lot of insane folks in our midst, one still justified rape lately.
Comrade Adams Oshiomole of Edo State has fired a warning shot at the Minister for Information Lieberan Maku (Did I spell that correctly?) on his good governance tour. He has stated categorically that the Edo state government will not be wasting tax payer’s money on Maku and his entourage. “If they pay me a courtesy visit, I will receive them, but I don’t have a dime to spend on them because I do not need them to come to tell Edo people how I built roads and schools. My achievement speaks for me.” – Oshiomole
Bottom power can never be overrated! The association of MAULAG (sorry UNILAG) runs babe were able to call their politician boyfriends to order and prevail on President Jonathan. He has now made a u-turn on the ‘honouring’ of M.K.O Abiola and left UNILAG to retain its name.
We live in a ghost nation, 45,000 Ghost workers have been detected from 251 ministries, departments and agencies (MDAs) of government under the Integrated Payroll and Personal Information System, (IPPIS). I expected this figure to be more considering the fact that our able first lady is also a ghost worker in the Delta state ministry and newly resurrected ghost.
The Catholic Bishops Of Nigeria have also joined the group of FG ‘blasters’! They have declared the FG and Governors corrupt. They also lambasted the government for tramping on our collective human rights. It is a welcomed development coming from a religious association considering the blind eye most religious associations have turned to the poor governance. “A government that is negligent in this regard, assaults the intelligence of the citizen; this, too, is a gross violation of human dignity.” – CBN
And the best news of the week is the signing of the final agreement on the reform going on in the power sector. The FG has succeeded in paying all outstanding benefits to PHCN. I sincerely do hope this move will bring an abrupt end to the epileptic power supply we suffer from in Nigeria.
Catch you next week. I am @AAABORODE